i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize