I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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