There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
