I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
