we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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