chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
