He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it penis luge time yet?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
