I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
