I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
