he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
