so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Randomize
