we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
