Cold hands, warm shart.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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