i just had sex bonerless
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
