After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
