Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
