I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
