True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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