i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
