I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i barfeds in our rink
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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