can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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