I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Randomize
