i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
