is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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