How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is the high leading the old right now
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
