Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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