We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
