Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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