Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
