I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
it glows. i had to have it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
