I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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