that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize