Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
