her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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