Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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