omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize