yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
