i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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