Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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