if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
