he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
