Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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