now i know why i became what i already was.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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