no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
