My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
