Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
