Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
