everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
