I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
