I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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