I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
