i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
