i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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