He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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